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Over the course of my professional career, I’ve participated in countless one-on-one meetings as both a manager and individual contributor. 

If there’s one piece of advice I’d love to see you take away from this article, it’s this: 

No matter how prepared you are, you will face some difficult conversations, surprises, and the odd uncomfortable moment along the way. 

That said, I'll share how you can better prepare for the little storms that come and conduct effective one-on-ones with your team members.

What Are One One-On-One Meetings?

A one-on-one meeting is a regular, scheduled conversation between a manager and an individual team member, normally on a weekly or biweekly basis.

These meetings are designed for open communication, allowing employees to discuss their performance, ask questions, seek guidance, share feedback, and address any concerns.

It's also a space for managers to provide personalized support, offer feedback, and align on goals.

Benefits Of One On One Meetings

One-on-one meetings are important tools in the people management toolbox because they foster strong, open communication between managers and team members, building trust and engagement. Key benefits include:

  1. Strengthening relationships: Regular check-ins help create connection and build trust, making employees feel heard and valued.
  2. Clarifying expectations: Managers and their reports can align on goals, address priorities, and provide clarity on tasks and expectations.
  3. Personalized support: These meetings allow managers to tailor feedback, address challenges, and support growth based on individual needs.
  4. Encouraging feedback: Employees have a dedicated safe space to share concerns, offer suggestions, and ask for support. They’re one of my favorite tools for gathering employee feedback.
  5. Driving accountability: Regular updates help both parties stay accountable to goals and follow through on commitments, boosting performance.

Overall, effective one-on-ones contribute to higher engagement, continuous performance management, and a more positive, supportive workplace culture. 

They’re particularly important for managing remote teams where it’s more difficult to check in on team members day to day.

How Should Managers And Employees Approach One On One Meetings?

The manager’s role

In a one-on-one meeting, the manager's role is to facilitate open, two-way communication that supports their direct report's personal and professional development while aligning their work with team and organizational goals. Key responsibilities include:

  1. Listening actively: Managers should create a safe space for their direct reports to share their ideas, concerns, and feedback. This builds trust and helps managers understand any issues the employee might be facing.
  2. Providing feedback: Offer constructive feedback on performance, recognizing achievements, and addressing areas for improvement.
  3. Supporting development: Discuss the employee’s career aspirations and development needs to identify training, projects, or mentoring opportunities to support growth.
  4. Setting and aligning goals: Collaboratively review progress on current goals and set clear expectations for upcoming work. This ensures alignment with team and company objectives.
  5. Problem-solving: If the employee has challenges, the manager can help brainstorm solutions, remove roadblocks, or provide resources to help them succeed.
  6. Building engagement: Regular one-on-ones show the employee that the manager values their well-being and career, enhancing motivation and engagement.
Author Tip

Author Tip

While positive feedback and celebrating wins is important, a Zenger Folkman survey found that 94% of respondents believe corrective feedback improved their performance.

The direct report’s role

The direct report's role is to engage openly and proactively, ensuring the conversation is productive and valuable for their growth and alignment with team goals. Their responsibilities include:

  1. Preparing ahead: Review recent work, progress on goals, and any topics they want to discuss. Coming prepared helps keep the conversation focused and efficient.
  2. Sharing updates: Provide insights into their progress, achievements, and any challenges they face. This keeps the manager informed and facilitates timely support.
  3. Asking for feedback: Seek constructive feedback and be open to areas of improvement. This shows a commitment to growth and encourages a two-way dialogue.
  4. Communicating goals and needs: Share any career aspirations, development needs, or resources that could help them perform better. This helps align their work with future growth opportunities.
  5. Addressing challenges: Be honest about obstacles or concerns, whether they're about workload, project challenges, or workplace dynamics. This enables problem-solving and clarifies expectations.
  6. Following up: After the meeting, take steps to implement feedback, work on agreed actions, and stay on track with goals. Consistent follow-through reinforces accountability and progress.

In essence, the direct report’s role is to take ownership of their growth and work, using one-on-ones to seek guidance, provide updates, and clarify expectations.

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Who Owns The One-On-One Meeting?

The direct report should primarily own the agenda for a one-on-one meeting. This gives them the space to address their needs, goals, and any challenges they want to discuss, making the meeting more focused on their growth and engagement. 

Setting the agenda empowers them to take ownership of their development and ensures the meeting is tailored to their priorities.

However, managers should contribute to the agenda as well, especially for performance updates, alignment with team goals, or feedback. 

A balanced approach might include the direct report sending a draft agenda ahead of time, with the manager adding any additional points they’d like to discuss. 

This collaborative approach makes the meeting both productive and aligned with organizational objectives while prioritizing the direct report’s development and concerns.

What To Discuss In A One-On-One

In a one-on-one, the conversation should be structured to address immediate needs, long-term growth, and alignment with goals. 

While the specific topics discussed in a 1:1 will vary from meeting to meeting and by management style, it’s important to create a general structure that applies to every discussion. 

Here is an example of a 30-minute meeting agenda you can use:

Team member check-in (5 minutes)

This is your opportunity to connect on a personal level. Ask open-ended questions that create an open listening environment. It’s important to have a(n):

  • Energy and emotional check-in: Check with the team member how they're doing and feeling, what their energy level is like, and what's top of mind. If energy is low, they’re stressed, or something is bothering them, this will affect the rest of the 1:1 conversation.
  • Personal connection: Follow up on their personal life. Ask how their spouse or children are doing, or express interest in their hobby. This is critical to build rapport and earn trust, and sets the stage for the rest of the meeting.

Team member work update (10 minutes)

This is where the 1:1 conversation switches from personal to work. Remember, if you feel like something warrants a bigger, longer conversation, schedule a separate meeting to discuss.

  • Previous action items: Ask the team member to update you on the status of any action items from the last one-on-one meeting. Check if there are any roadblocks preventing them from completing a particular action.
  • Project and goal updates: Focus on updates on any important long-term goals, objectives, projects, or tasks that they’ve been assigned. How satisfied are they with work, and what is affecting their job satisfaction?

Manager update and future (10 minutes)

Now it’s your turn. Use this part of the conversation to:

  • Share important information and updates: This could be new company policies or processes, but only those that have a direct impact on the team member.
  • Non-urgent performance management: This is an opportunity to set general performance expectations or offer general constructive feedback. Also, offer support!
  • New goals, objectives, or responsibilities: A one-on-one is a good time to discuss the future. This includes any changes to the team member’s goals and career aspirations, role, or responsibilities. Be sure to get their thoughts.

Flex time (5 minutes)

As with any meeting, always allocate a small chunk of time to allow for deeper discussion on a particularly important topic, summarize any key action items, or simply end the meeting early!

Author Tip

Author Tip

A shared 1:1 meeting doc is a great way to capture feedback and action items. You could also use performance management tools for this.

What Should 1:1’s NOT Be Used For?

In general, 1:1’s should not be relied on as the primary mechanism for performance management, learning and development, or project and task management.

Trying to cram these into your short, recurring meetings is simply not practical. 

It's more about employee engagement, so here are some examples of things that should NOT be covered in a 1:1, and should be addressed in their own meetings:

  • Urgent performance feedback: If a team member has made a serious error, it’s important to provide feedback in a timely manner and set expectations quickly to ensure it doesn’t happen again. Waiting until your next 1:1 is too late.
  • Job skills training. A one-on-one meeting shouldn’t be used as a training session to teach someone specific skills necessary to do their job. Schedule a separate session where you aren’t rushed for time and pushing other topics.
  • Detailed project status updates. A 1:1 is an appropriate place to get general updates (e.g. are things generally on track/delayed/ahead), but detailed status updates and discussions should be handled in a status report/project meeting.

Example One-on-One Meeting Questions By Type

1. General questions

  • "How have things been going for you this week? Any highlights or challenges?"
  • "What’s something you feel particularly proud of since our last check-in?"
  • "Are there any roadblocks or frustrations that I can help you address?"
  • “How is [project or interest from personal life] doing/going?

4. Goal setting

  • "What goals would you like to set for the next quarter, and how do they align with your long-term career aspirations?"
  • "What do you need from me to help you achieve these goals, and are there any specific resources or training that would help?"
  • "How will you measure success for these goals, and what steps do you see yourself taking to achieve them?"

5. Growth conversation

  • "Are there any skills or areas of knowledge you’d like to develop further, either in your current role or for future career goals?"
  • "What types of projects or experiences would you find valuable for your growth over the next year?"
  • "How do you feel about your current career trajectory, and are there any adjustments or new directions you’d like to explore?"
  • "How do you feel about your recent performance, and is there anything you’d like to improve or focus on?"
  • "What feedback have you received recently from team members or clients, and how have you acted on it?"
  • "Are there any specific challenges you’re facing with your work that could impact your performance? How can I help?"

 2. First 1:1 with a new team member

  • "What are you most excited about in this role, and what do you hope to achieve in the coming months?"
  • "Do you feel you have the tools and resources you need to get started? Is there anything specific I can help you with?"
  • "How do you like to receive feedback, and what do you find most helpful from a manager?"

3. Skip-level questions (if you’re their manager’s manager)

  • "How do you feel things are going in your team overall? Is there anything you think could be improved?"
  • "Is there anything I should know about your current projects or goals that could be helpful for us to discuss?"
  • "What do you feel your team or manager could do to better support you in your role?"

One-On-One Meeting Best Practices

Effective one on ones are built on consistency, efficiency, openness, and trust. Here are some best practices to help achieve this:

  • Set a consistent schedule: Keep meetings regular (weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly) and honor the time commitment to show its importance. However, it’s okay to skip sometimes if there’s nothing to discuss.
  • Make it informal: 1:1s are a place for building rapport and trust, so try to keep the vibe relaxed and make time for general chit-chat.
  • Prepare an agenda: Both parties should bring topics or questions to discuss. Common items include project updates, challenges, feedback, and career goals.
  • Create a comfortable environment: Make it a safe, confidential space for honest communication free of distractions and interruptions.
  • Focus on listening: Let the employee speak openly and prioritize understanding their perspective before responding.
  • Celebrate wins: Giving praise where it’s due is important to drive performance and expected behaviors.
  • Give constructive feedback: Offer specific, actionable feedback with examples. Alana Fallis’s guide on how to give effective feedback is a great resource here.
  • Encourage two-way feedback: Invite feedback on your management style and any suggestions for team or workflow improvements.
  • Discuss growth and development: Talk about career goals, learning opportunities, and areas for skill development to show commitment to their growth.
  • Follow up on action items: End with clear next steps and commitments, and check on progress in future meetings.
Author Tip

Author Tip

If possible, change the 1-on-1 meeting setting from time to time e.g. go grab a coffee, sit in a courtyard or outside space, or even grab dinner or lunch. This helps make it less formal.

Your One-on-One Meeting Template 

I've created a simple template to help you lead an effective 1:1 conversation. This handy one-on-one template can be printed out for ease of use, and includes:

  • Quick start guide with essential one one-on-one best practices
  • A simple framework for your one-on-one meeting agenda
  • Example one-on-one meeting questions you can ask
  • Spaces to take notes

Simply enter your email address below and click 'submit' to get the template.

One-on-One Meeting Template

A simple template to help you lead an effective 1:1 conversation.
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Mike Gibbons

Mike has extensive experience in sales, marketing, and product strategy; organizational and team development; and business growth and operations. He's held various senior leadership positions in the technology industry, and in 2016 participated as a lead member of the deal team responsible for the sale of Point Grey Research to FLIR Systems for USD$256M. Mike is guided by his deeply-held beliefs in connection, curiosity, humour, empathy, and honesty. Since leaving the corporate world in 2018, he's provide fractional executive and growth and strategic planning advisory services that have helped several early stage companies mature, grow responsibly, and live true to their values.